May 17 2013
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Family, Hubby, Just Plain Fun, Princess

Diznee Whold!

By the time you read this I will be midair, riding the jet streams to the happiest place on earth…or at least the happiest place in Florida! You know that I am dedicated to sharing my opinions with ya’ll but I haven’t had a vaca since I was 21…and I could use the R&R! Meaning Rapunzel and Rides! I am looking forward to walking my socks off in the wonderland of the south. The roller coasters might not be the tallest, fastest or newest…but I am looking forward to screaming with joy, terror and delight. It might be a couple days until you hear from me. But know I will be learning more about myself, the mouse and my inner princess. Just in time to share with you! Love you.

P.S. it’s Star Wars weekends…and my inner geek- she wields a mean light sabre

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May 16 2013
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Creativity, Just Plain Fun

Things That Are So Hot, Right Now III

As the world turns, so do the times.  And times, they are a changing.  So, I thought it prudent to update what’s hot right now.  As always this entry is to be read in a TMZ Blonde dialect.

Things That Are Hot, Right Now
1. Reece Witherspoon. After her scandalous arrest, people are finally seeing her inner Paris Hilton. Plus she’s still super cute. Who could say they didn’t love “Sweet Home Alabama”, “Legally Blonde” and “Fear”.  That’s not even honourably mentioning “Election”; which I consider her “Napoleon Dynamite”.

2. Reece Pieces Mini cups- especially the value bag. The tiny crinkle cups filled with that delicious nutty middle. Ummyumm.

3.  Washboards, clotheslines and push lawn mowers.  These laughable throw backs to a less electrified time are making a serious come back.  Let those linens fly.  They’ll smell like sunshine.  It’s helps the environment, which is a hot button topic.  Obviously.

4. The Jitterbug and the Charleston. The roaring 20′s are back.  Grab your high heeled shoes and roll your stockings down.  Cuz we’re gonna shimmy shake ’til something breaks.  Laced with hints of Gatsby, you are free to reinvent yourself on the dance floor, to spin in your fringe and sip bathtub gin; though I wouldn’t recommend the gin…it tastes like bathtub.

Things That Are Always Hot
1. Far away galaxies, where conflict will always find you. Even if you’re in the cantina.  Good news is, in those galaxies, if you don’t like the outcome you could just change it whenever you wanted to…well, until Disney bought them.

2. Fedoras- this excludes mini fedoras and anything that isn’t made of high quality Canadian beaver felt.

3. Crocodiles and Wolves.  I capitalized both as proper names.  I am talking about Dundees and Dicks.  Okay, I may have taken liberties on this one.  But they’re both pretty cool.

4. Banana peppers are hot, but not in the cool way.  They taste hot and feel burny in your mouth.  Also they make everything else taste like…well, banana peppers.  Which stinks cuz who wants to eat a banana pepper sandwich? Nobody. That’s who.

Things That Are Cool, but Will Never Be Hot

1. Second hand stores- value village, goodwill & the Sally Ann are treasure troves for those willing to dig. And though a pair of orange suede pants my not be hot; they are still hot…you know, temperature wise.

2. Anything crocheted.

3. Talking sticks.  In times of conflict this tool can be very effective.  Though in common practise I have found that the suggestion is not appreciated.  Especially since I brought the stick and am not likely to share it around.

So, Ladies and Germs, there you have it.  All the nitty gritty underbelly of fad.  The things that people are talking about.  The word on the street.  The DL.  At least that’s what I’ve been told.

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May 15 2013
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Creativity, Friends, Just Plain Fun

Little Pants On Fire

Pants on fire

Nobody likes a know-it-all, especially kids.  Even if that know-it-all is a kid.  I am a know-it-all, always have been.  When I was a wee lass I would make up answers if I didn’t know them. Which really helped me in improv, but not so much at recess.  I have always had an answer, even without hearing the question. I would make up all sorts of things: Fake boyfriends, dance routines and secret identities- most of whom were way cooler than me. Though my lies were never hurtful to others it’s not a ladylike quality. Unless you’re a great liar, but I have never met a great child-liar. That would be such a strange waste of talent since their social circle is limited and great lies are a dish best shared. But being a know-it-all-child-liar…let’s just say I wasn’t very popular.

Going to school was tough for me. I wanted to chit-chat, play and ham it up. Recess wasn’t long enough to shake my sillies out. To then sit clustered in desks with 2 of the dreaded Jennifers and my grade school love, it was hard to focus on math- especially since it was in French. I never wanted to do anything that seemed like work. I preferred to spin, whistle, day dream and sing.  Imagine, my teacher trying to reign in this teeny tattle-tail blonde haired know-it-all dervish. She would beg for my attention with promise craft time, silent reading outside and soccer baseball. Then there was her constant suggestion that I take part in more extra-curricular activities…you know to make friends and wear me out. So, I tried line dancing, soccer, choir, broom ball…you name the intramural I did it. But being a know-it-all, I wouldn’t listen to instructions. Or pass the ball, or stop yelling for my turn, or hogging the mic. Even after playing all with all these teams, I was still happier lying to myself and others about the fancy things I could think up.

Recently, I have been reassessing my choice of career. (I wholeheartedly believe artist isn’t a choice) After taking a personality test geared to help me choose a career; I learned that I am happiest lying and bossing people around. Well, isn’t that just perfect!?! I am a professional liar. I lie that I know what’s going on.  That I am up to date on current events.  I lie that I am prepared to be the person I should be.  I lie that I am the right person for the job.  I lie that I am that character somebody else wrote. I lie that everything is a-okay.  But as a know-it-all, I know that’s how everybody feels.  I know this unpopular teeny tattle-tail blonde haired know-it-all has grown up to make friends.  I know that having a secret identity is a great way to prepare myself to perform for others.  I know that lies can help me feel better.  And I know that lying down is the best way to fall asleep. So, maybe knowing and lying aren’t so bad.  Now, if I could just find a few more people to boss around…

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May 14 2013
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Creativity, Family, Friends, Hubby, Princess, Superhero

Who Will You Choose To Be?

Each day we are offered opportunities to make a great first impression. At the bank, laundromat, grocery store, or gym, even in the dog park. These places are full of strangers who could easily become friends. Especially in a city, there are strangers everywhere. People who don’t know who they’re missing. And each person is a chance for us to prove that the person we are and the person we hope to be aren’t so very far apart.

Are you a Princess? Superhero? Jokester? When meeting strangers; Why not try a new positive outlook? See how a smile feels. Encourage yourself to be brave and bold. Strangers are an ideal test audience for new material. And if it doesn’t fly, you never have to see them again. Embarrassed only ’til you turn the corner; meet someone new and try again. Never be anyone but yourself. Fake accents are not recommended, unless you can pull it off long term. Each new encounter is ripe with possibilities. Who knows, you could find a super friend. Someone you never would’ve met if you had nothing in common. And if you’re together somewhere, then you have one thing in common.

Somedays, it’s hard to take my own advice. But there have been so many times this has worked out so well for me. I’ve met people of distinction in casual conversation. I have made surprisingly wicked friends. There have been lucky days and failed material, but I am gonna keep at it. Somehow, I would like to continue making new impressive impressions. Currently, I am hoping to make friends with my neighbor who loves jamming…as I also like to jam. But honestly, I can’t impress enough the importance of first, second, third and eventually fiftieth impressions. So today, why not try being the person you want to be? Cuz, if you make both feet your best, it’ll be easy to put them forward.

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May 13 2013
2 Comments
Burlesque, Creativity, Exercise, Just Plain Fun, Performing, The Starving Artist

The Starving Artist: Chapter 34: Groove Is In The Art

As a little girl I remember day dream dancing.  I would put tapes on and make up stories for the songs.  I would dance around the down-down (what my family calls the basement) all by myself playing all the angles, using all the space as my stage. It was a perfect place to try those high kicks, spins and mastering the moves I’d watched the masters use.  Classical music inspired me to tell amazing tales fantastically epic journeys. Dancing out all the melancholy melodies of the string section.  Pop and classic rock teaching me about attitude and how sometimes words and melodies don’t match even though they go together.  Learning to decipher the language of movement, music and character coming to life through dance.  Each song style inspiring a unique story; even though I was still the same awkward kid, doing the same awkward moves in a different order.

It’s time for a confession…a guilty pleasure.  My secret infatuation.  I love the Voice.  I fell in love with it immediately after watching the whole Super Bowl for the first time.  It was a night of televised sporting events and reality TV; two of the least likely things you’ll ever find me doing.  I have been very vocal about my opinions for scripted performances masquerading as real life.  I don’t believe it.  At least fiction is honest…sorta.  Now, obviously the Super Bowl was reality, as they were playing football, from what I understand of the game…But celebrity judges picking teams of professionals for ultimate musical domination, well, that’s not real.  But I love it anyways, all ways, all directions, all tempos and tattoos. In theatre school the importance of song choice is reiterated, drilled and driven home in every class.  And twice a week I am reminded, watching great singers sing songs that are wrong for their voices, personalities and postures.  There is nothing more distracting than a great performance of a poor song choice.

Flash forward to Burlesque 101, where we find this theatre school grade in the awkward body of the girl dancing in the basement.  The biggest differences are now I have dance training and well, boobs.  For our end of term performance we have been assigned a character: We are to become the familiar and flexible archetype of French Maid.  A class of six different girls with 6 different ideas about what a Burlesque Maid looks like, moves like and dances to.  I am supposed to choreograph a number about cleaning.  I hate cleaning.  I don’t like doing it.  I love clean spaces, but I just want it to be someone else’s job.  And now, I have to practise cleaning, in a dancey way.  And find a song that speaks for me, helping me to dance my cleaning story out.  Les sighs.

I have been googling key words, listening to iTunes clips, reading articles, searching for the perfect song.  The song that says- Yes, I am cleaning.  Yes, I am dancing and Yes, it’s a good show.  Searching for the song that lyrically alludes to all the subtle sub-text I try jamming into everything.  Most of me is up to this challenge, gladly accepting the assignment; as if I had a choice.  But there is a teeny celebrity judge sitting inside my mind, doing what judges do best. So, I sit here writing my blog in procrastination of the search for the song that helps the little girl inside me emerge from the down-down.  Desperately seeking The Song that inspires me to high kick for feather dusters.  The music that will unleash my Oui, oui.  The perfect song choice to clean that inner judge’s clock, bathroom and windows.

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May 10 2013
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Family, Just Plain Fun

Rave Reviews for Mom of Me-ah!

This Sunday is Mother’s Day. Second Sunday of May…Every year, but there have been years (that’s right, YEARS) it’s slipped my mind. I forgot to send a card, go to brunch or tell my Fabu-Momma how super-duper she is. Now, I believe you should treat your Momma (and everyone else) like it’s their birthday-Christmas-Mother’s Day-everyday! But that doesn’t mean that having a special day that falls on what is hopefully a sunny spring Sunday isn’t a nice celebration anyhow. So, this year, I planned ahead. With a rental car booked and a day trip planned; I will make this Mother’s Day one Mother of a good time.

If I was a colour I would be green. I am an even mix of my Momma’s yellow and Papa B’s blue. I assigned them these colours for specific reasons. My Momma is typically sunny and upbeat and my Papa B tends to be more the calm Eeyore type, suffering with occasional rain clouds- but yellow and gray make brown and I wouldn’t consider myself a brown personality. I am so lucky to have bits of both colours, though it’s not always easy being green…

My Momma and her Momma were tight. Momma was 13 years younger than her only sibling, so most of her growing up memories are as an only child. My Momma and Grandma Far were friends. I mean, they were mother/daughter, but they also truly enjoyed each other’s company. I can remember being a little girl laying in bed listening to them giggle downstairs and wanting so badly to join in. I remember growing older and being invited to participate in the giggles. Laughter, oh geez. My Grandma Far used to laugh through her teeth, like Heathcliff, my Momma’s eyes tear up and then there’s me; tittering like Betty Rubble. We made a dynamite trio. From them, I learned that family can be friends. And that when we die, the love remains.

Then there is my Grandma Near, my Papa B’s Momma, who passed away this April. I can see her bustling around in the kitchen on Special Occasions. I can remember her decorating cakes and the ease with which she piped icing flowers. I can see her starring out the kitchen window, silently warning me to behave myself…which was practically impossible, cuz all the fun things were forbidden. Grandma Near fell ill 5 years ago. And she was gone for so long before she passed, it was hard to watch her turn into an empty shell, she had always been such a proud lady. From her I learned that being proud of yourself is an accomplishment. And that the person you want to be and the person you are, aren’t as far apart as you may think.

I have so many amazing Mothers in my inner, middle and outer circles, that if I tried to laud them individually, this blog would go on forever. But I do want to make special mention of my Aunt: Who hugs like she means it.every.single.time. My Other Mother for teaching my Hubby about love. My Spa-pal, Hot Momma and Lady on the Fence: Your daughters are lucky little ladies. Thank you for being great Mommas!!! So, this Sunday, and every day celebrate your Mother! Buy her flowers, mow the lawn, eat some brunch and hug that woman! Remember, she’s been your Santa Clause, maid, chef, enforcer and if you’re lucky, friend. I am going to try everyday to celebrate my Momma and if I happen to miss Mother’s Day next year, I won’t feel bad. Cuz, Mother’s Day is just one made up holidays…It’s not like May the Fourth, which is the most important holiday day in the Jedi calendar.

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May 09 2013
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Family, Friends

How Can You Lend A Broken Heart

They say that breaking up is hard to do. Even in the worst relationships; wrought with fighting, lies and infidelities the end can leave us wanting. Being such an accomplished relationship expert *insert eye roll*; I rely heavily on the adages I’ve heard all my life. An ounce of prevention is worth pound of cure. Follow your heart. An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind. So, when one of my inner circle is suffering from the agony, anxiety and angst of dealing with a break up, I know just what to say. But it’s nothing they haven’t already heard.

When we feel the saddest, all we can do is seek comfort in the things that have comforted us in the past. Even Southern Comfort-ing to numb the hurt. Wanting to wrap ourselves up in a blanket of memories; then smother those memories with cheese doodles and Julia Roberts. Coating everything in orange and despair. Our already bleak love life outlook growing bleaker. The sunny days of love, left behind us. Taking off our rose coloured glasses and facing our new journey alone. The crushing loneliness of second guessing our choices and ourselves. The empty days following a break-up seem so full of time…Time you suddenly wish you would’ve invested in your relationship. But that ship has sailed. So, maybe it’s time to try a train, plane or automobile.

The most important thing I can impart is that no matter how painful, heartbreaking and all around awful; each new experience can be a lesson. If you are brave enough to learn from them. It may take time, distance and all the effort you can muster, but you will learn something. I know that not every heartache is the same, and for me to sit at my iPad mini and tell you to do this, or feel that, well, it’s just not right. But I want you to know that when you are ready for my opinion, a slew of adages and my olde fashion sensibility, I will be here Mon-Friday laying it out online. Until then, I want all those with broken hearts and fractured lives to know: Life goes on. You’ve got a friend in me. You’re only as old as you feel. And you live, you learn. Oh and as the saying goes: No blogger knows less, than the blogger who knows it all;)

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May 08 2013
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Creativity, Family, Just Plain Fun

All We Need Is Love, So Share It Bro

Have I told you lately that I loved you? Have I told you how much I really care? Can’t you tell by looking at me? I am bursting with love! Love. Love. Love. Love is all you need. Well, love and all those things imperative to stay alive like water and Netflix. Love is a gift best shared. And I want you to share it with those you love. TELL THEM! Show them. Give them the gift of love, it’s free. And free is the best price for a priceless gift.

My Bro is convinced that if someone overheard him saying he loves me, he would be carted off to the funny farm…where funny things don’t actually happen. That it would be the worst situation that a grown man could find himself in. I can hear his inner monologue, though it sounds strangely like his 8 year old self: TELL My Sister I love her? Why would I do that? She already knows; I don’t need to say it. Well, dang boy! Even a cactus needs water occasionally. And I am not a tough prickly dessert dwelling plant. I am a sappy (*plant pun) city living lady. And sometimes, I just need to hear him say it. I want him to share something that doesn’t cost him anything but air..and words…and time…and maybe long distance charges. But he refuses; even when there is nobody around to hear him humiliate himself..

I don’t think it would upset me as much if he didn’t like me. I mean, if we were those siblings who don’t get along, hate spending time together, do nothing but fight…but mostly, we’re good. He has the odd errant ear/nose/eyebrow hair, but that makes me feel needed. He can be gruff and gruelling. Even dare I say it, off-colour? But nobody’s perfect. It seems silly to me that anyone wouldn’t want to make sure those they love knew it. How could loving anything be considered a weakness? Yes, obviously your heart is a sensitive muscle, but I would hope that we can be tough enough to share love. Or at least I’d hope you’re brave enough to give it a shot. Cuz Bro, you’re one tough Mother Bocker, and I love that about you. That’s one thing I am not afraid to say.

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May 07 2013
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Creativity, Just Plain Fun, Princess, Work

Sharks VS Jets: Making Snap Decisions

The Melicious West Side:

When you’re a Jet,
You’re the top cat in town,
You’re the gold medal kid
With the heavyweight crown!

But Sharks are the Kings,
Of the sea can’t you see?
Once you’re locked in their gaze,
You can never be free.

Sharks are the Jets of the Sea and Jets are the Sharks of the Sky. When they are both so great; how can anybody choose a side? Well, this is where I find myself. I am trying to decide how to decide. I am naturally an indecisive person. I never want to limit my options by choosing just one! What if it’s not the best choice? What if it’s a mistake? What if something better comes along? What if the what if’s just keep coming? Do I have to make a decision for every.single.one?

For a long time I had made the lazy career decision; not to decide. In the hopes that a decision would be made for me. That someone would see what it was I was offering and hand me the keys to my destiny. Well, Sweepstakes, Passing Go and Free Parking aside, there aren’t a whole lot of oversized novelty cheques floating around. And even fewer heading my direction. So, I decided it was time to decide.

Here’s the thing: Sharks are born. And Jets are made. And I am neither one. No matter how well I snap, splay or step touch. I think making a decision can only help steer my wayward whimsy. By choosing to focus on a few things and letting the back burner items remain there until I have achieved/finished some of my main goals. I have decided to aim my Jet-mounted-laser-beam-Shark-vision and set the ocean on fire…Wait, that’s not quite right. I have decided to set specific goals and follow my bliss.

Melicious is the name,
I’m the happy Queen bee.
And I’m making a choice,
to decide who to be.

To be Queen of the blog,
and the night and of fun.
To make myself proud,
Have my day in the sun.

So, just c’mon with me,
On a journey we’ll go.
And if nothing else,
It’ll be a great show.

Cuz, when you decide,
A decision is made,
And you know all your goals
Making sure plans are laid.

Expect big new things,
From this sweet country girl.
Taking hold of my fate,
Let’s just give it a whirl.

*Dance Break outro… Step, turn, flourish, high hat hit….Yeah! Fosse fingers.

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May 06 2013
2 Comments
Creativity, Exercise, Performing, The Starving Artist, Work

The Starving Artist: Chapter 33: Let’s Get Flexy

Cinco de Mayo isn’t just for margaritas anymore! It also marked the beginning of my Splits Challenge. A month long exercise program designed to build towards the perfect splits. After sweating, swearing and shaking, I remembered just how important flexibility is. Not just physically, but throughout our daily lives. Yes, I am working towards being able to comfortably sit in the splits. Yes, I am looking forward to being bendy. Yes, I have set myself a goal. But, I want my physical flexibility to mirror my emotional balance. I want to flex, stretch and push myself forward; both my muscles and my life.

I have been slowly working towards health and happiness; in both life and work. I’ve classified them separately, cuz being happy in life is great, but being happy at work…well, that’s impressive. The terminology work varies in it’s meanings. From the force that moves us to the charity we provide and even the labour of working towards our goals. Being flexible helps us to find the balance. By thinking of my life like the human body, I have started to identify some of my emotional obstacles. Are my hamstrings tight or is it my hip flexors? What is it that is slowing my progress? Am I stuck in my mindset or am I stubborn with my point of view? By moving through the emotional poses I can find what needs work. And that work is often painful, scary, tear inducing but ultimately it’s rewarding.

Emotional flexibility is just as difficult as muscularly release. Release is key. The will to accept the situation as it is; whether that means releasing into a yoga pose or allowing ourselves to release what we cannot change. By moving through life with flexibility we can work to achieve balance. We stand taller, breathe deeper and love sweeter. Flexibility helps us fight the fear. Whether it means to settle into the splits or to shift our perspective. Now, if I could only reach my toes, they could use a tickle…it might make this hard work more fun:)

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